the little bun in the oven.
Before I start I again want to simply say: I am a 26 year old mom/wife with my 29 year old husband raising our first son. We are not perfect and I know that by me writing a blog I am also opening myself to critisism. I am not new to critisism. I do however request any negative comments be saved to say openly to yourself or your friend and not typed and posted on this blog. This is our life, our way of parenting, my inner thoughts and demons and outlook on all/any situations that God may lay before us. So thank you for respecting that :) I am always open to uplifting words of advice, prayers and positive encouragement...as I believe we should all be to each other anyway.
Wyatt around a year
My mother was the first to bring it to my attention that she thinks we should look further into Wyatt's social capabilities (aka she hinted towards autism.) I was furious. I was mostly furious, because this thought had been creeping in my mind for at least 3 months. At Wyatts one year I felt he was progressing as a normal growing boy. Very tall, (of course insanely handsome ;) haha...wonderful eating palate, active, and best of all affectionate and happy. He was waving, saying mama, dada, trying to say bye-bye and at one point we are pretty positive we heard him say baby! But after Christmas of 2012 he stopped talking. Everything stopped. Babbling, words...even eye contact with other people and responding to his name.
It's hard as a parent because naturally we look inward. Where did I go wrong? What did I feed him? Whats wrong with me? How did I do this to my child? Watching this regression has been devastating to say it lightly.
After 2 weeks of silently being angry at my mother for even mentioning such a thing I personally started doing my own research, spoke to C...who was also very unconvinced. I dont think any parent, especially a father of his first son wants to hear anything like our son is "special."
But over a course of 2 months I spoke to my mother and started to explore this observation may be accurate. The next question was where the hell do I go? I asked his first pediatrician in South Florida who did NOT take me seriously at all. She wanted me to wait until he was 3 to take any action. I regret listening to her. (I asked her this when Wyatt was 1 1/2) Then, My mom mentioned she had a few resourceful friends in the education system who mentioned the "Babies Can't Wait" program.
Chad had just recieved wonderful news that he was going to be taken off the road and working at IST Management Corporate location - in Atlanta, Ga! We were thrilled! We would finally feel like a family again! I know Wyatt missed his Dad and I missed him too. This however did delay any process of getting Wyatt the proper "treatmeant" or whatever I was to do to see if our thoughts were leading in any accurate direction. I was clueless.
Last October before we were even living in GA, I called Fulton County GA's "Babies Can't Wait" program - this is a government funded program that helps give parents a direction with their child and they offer a small amount of therapy for whatever the childs condition is until the public school system takes over when they turn 3. The first thing I was devistated to hear is that they only do ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) preventative work until the age of three, so I lost so many months because I did NOT trust my gut! I also needed to find a GA pediatrician to express Wyatt's needs and my concerns to receive a written script of recommendation for a speech evaluation and an occupational therapy eval - (hearing was also highly recommended). Before we moved to GA I also heard wonderful things about the Marcus Autism Center. I called to get Wyatt an appointment (there was a 3 month wait) for his first evaluation.
summer 2013
We finally moved to the wonderful Inman Park (Little Five Points area) of Atlanta in the beginning of December. Chad and I aren't new to moving (Wyatt either) - but either way moving is exciting, exhausting and overall sucks. I also had a wonderful job lined up for myself working at an amazing salon...I could not bare the thought of going to work knowing Wyatt might have a severe learning disability and suffer in a new school where he is no where near up to par with children his age, also frustrating the teachers with his unwillingness to listen or follow other children (Wyatt does not play with other children his age). I still have not started work.
Since moving here we have enjoyed this area tremendously..Chad and I love the "small apartment living" we have committed too...Ultimately saving money by living in the city where Chad has a 10 minute commute (while most ATL. workers have an hour or more) and cutting down to essentials. I should add Chad got this motivation from a guy he found online Graham Hill. He did a great speech on his life and evolution to simplifying his life to basic needs. This has helped our life in so many ways, especially now.
December and January have been filled with doctors appointments, assessments, tests...anxiety...on my end, a bit of depression...on Chads end, I think alot of pressure...our families and friends have been so wonderful, concerened, caring, loving...and always willing to listen.
After our first appointment with the pediatrician I voiced my concern about Wyatt and how I feel immunizations may have played a serious role in this turn of regression. (yes I did alot of research about Jenny McCarthy, and many other doctors associated with like minded thinking.) The doctor was not too concerned with his diet. I was not satisfied with her explanation, so I took a step further to see a Holistic MD here in Atl. that works with children, and autism cases. (That was also a 2 month wait....by the grace of God we got in a month early) However I do have to keep our first Ped. because she writes scripts for us to see speech therapists and occupational therapists...I'm sure you can imagine how expensive this is getting.
Our Holistic MD gave us a very detailed and wonderful scenario as to what may have caused this with Wyatt. Between Chad and my hereditary history facts and traits (not all great...hey we can't choose family ;) Wyatt may have been born with an intestinal fungus (which is a common thing). However today we are vaccinating our children VERY early and too many vaccines at one time...these vaccines then activate the fungus causing it to leak and spread to his brain, causing a blockage to his brain. This prevents him from learning at the accurate rate. While this was hard to hear, her explanation made more sense to us than "he was born with it, deal with it."
While we don't feel like Wyatt was born completely this way (because he was progressing like a normal child, then after all vaccinations stopped making progress altogether) we are aware that there are many autistic children that are born this way, and they have a different road to approach than us. I am NOT saying do not vaccinate your child. I suggest spreading vaccinations out quite a bit. We have run many tests on Wyatt to find what he may be allergic to and tests to see how his internal organs function with what foods, oils he is given. We are anxious to get the results. Right now we are literally willing to explore all options to see what we can do to make his body healthy as possible as well as get him the therapy he needs to adapt and thrive in this educational world while enhancing his natural born talents, we have a very smart and happy child on our hands :).
MLK Day 2014
Meanwhile we have been meeting with "Babies Can't Wait" we were just assigned our first "service coordinator" and "specialist" to work with Wyatt weekly. We are very excited about this. We also just saw Wyatts psychologist and had his official Austism testing completed.
I am writing this long...and probably very confusing blog today because I have been an emotional mess. We received via email the break down of his testing from the psychologist. I think as a mom you know in your heart the answers but pray for a miracle or for it to look prettier and kinder on paper. Before I spill a few more feelings, I want to say C and I love Wyatt more than life itself. We are blown away by his talents, personality and sense of humor daily. We will continue to love and support him forever and gladly encouraging the person God has made him to be. I think its difficult though for any parent to venture into the unknown, especially because now we are finding this "autism spectrum disorder" is just now being taken seriously....and people still do not have alot of evidence about what works best, what causes it, all the degress of it...so on and so forth. For us to get to this point of answers has been a struggle. Not to mention the demand of money for us to spend and demand for psycologists and special schools for these children. For an average income family it is sad the lack of support we feel these children have. Yet, We are so impressed by these families that have thrived taking the journey alone (in the early autism years)...standing up for their "different" child as we are doing for our Wyatt. I sometimes feel as if I am literally feeling my way through the dark, and pray for a big sign from God. He has given us some serious angels this month with a wealth of knowlegde that I will try to share as often as I can on this blog.
Wyatt on Christmas day
As I read through a very descriptive breakdown of Wyatt's Development Evaluation to find his Adaptive Behavior, Social- Emotional, Cognitive and Communication Development is equal to a 6-9 month old it is in fact heartbreaking. But we are choosing to see all the positives in Wyatt and latch onto his strengths. He's an amazing artist, and loves to be outside. I am creating a schedule to fit these needs while teaching him the essentials of how to care for himself...I will start here. This is how I will approach teaching him in this next month and try to record any progress.
Through this process I have taken notes, read many books and have observed Wyatts likes and dislikes...I know this will be an exciting journey for all of us, I know God has reasons for everything, and I know he is okay if I cry a bit to get through it all.
Please feel free to make any posts, ask any questions, I am happy to answer as many as I can, thanks for reading :)
Oh Stephanie, my heart goes out to you and your family. I'm amazed at how well you are taking this, and admire your drive for answers and knowledge on the situation. You are very strong woman. I think you are doing a fantastic job in locating specialists and organizations to help guide you through. I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster receiving such news can launch. I am friends with and used to work with the founder if hope for autism. She is a wonderful chiropractic physician and not to mention, doting mother much like yourself. She is from MI, and went to further schooling for bionutritional care andcontinues research in fields of childhood illness and vaccine injury. Her name is Renee Tocco Hunter, and her mother is Mary Tocco. I highly recommend looking up their research studies and Dr. Renee's treatments as well. She was in Charleston, when I worked with her. She travels quite a bit, and often to ATL. if you visit her website bionutritionalcare.com there is a link to her organization Hope for Autism. Anyway, whether you check it out or not, your family will be my prayers for as long as you are enduring this journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. A mother's love is fierce and unwavering...God gave Wyatt to you bc he knew you'd be able to give him the best possible life and Wyatt is such a blessing. Over the years I have worked with Autistic children and they are the most intelligent and sincere children. I too am a Leo and I know how it feels to be told something and to just accept it...very very hard to do. Keep pushing and striving for answers like you are doing. I pray that God will give you the wisdom and knowledge as well to lead you in the right direction so you can help Wyatt focus on his talents.
ReplyDeleteStephanie and Chad
ReplyDeleteJust the fact that you are so open and candid with your journey, proves what I thought the minute I met you. You are courageous, wonderful parents. Continue to go by your gut, love with no limits and realize that you are human and cannot do it all alone. You all are in our thoughts and prayers.You probably don't even remember meeting us, I went to school with Mike and Laura and met you at their wedding. Your faith and love will get you through! Bless you all. Becky & Russ Recker
Just being able to talk about Autism with other Autism parents and other parents of children not on the spectrum is a great thing, I know all too well just how hard it is to hear and read those words and to know that deep in your heart you know what's different about your child and his/her development. I had the same problem with our doctor getting him to listen to me but I finally laid it down for him step by step and said "can you please make the referall it certainly won't hurt to find out one way or another" so he did and now we know my oldest son Daniel is on the more severe end of the spectrum and has ADHD as well (the two tend to go hand in hand, I'd ask the doc about that too) and much like with Wyatt I noticed things changed the biggest one was after his 4 yr immunizations so many shots at one time it breaks my heart to think about I could have stopped it or made it a lot less severe if I'd listened to several friends about immunizations and either not getting them or spreading them out. So along comes my second son and we vaccinated him as well that is up until his 4 yr shots rolled around and I said not no but H*** NO, doc hasn't mentioned him getting them (he's now 6) I am saying that because he was also diagnosed with Autism (and ADHD) but is not as severe as my older son, the difference to me is clear and this is just my opinion if I were to get Aric (youngest son) his 4 year shots spread out or not he'd be on the more severe end of the spectrum as well. That is just a little of our story but I said all that to let you know you're not alone, don't let you get yourself to feeling guilty at all about any of this, (I say that as I end up feeling like a bad mom for what's happened to my boys all the time) It is refreshing to see another parent of a child with Autism share their journey and to be so open and honest and willing to share!! You and C are awesome parents, you are doing what's best for Wyatt, and you stand up for him and fight for him. A mom always knows her child best and her instincts are usually right on ;) as were yours. I too at first didn't want to think Autism after a friend who has a son with Autism mentioned to me several times she thought he might be on the spectrum somewhere, I got just as mad or felt that way much like you did it was hard to even think and accept, but as it became clearer and clearer I got the guts to talk to the doctor as I wrote in this posting, as I said it took a few times asking but it finally happened and I got the referall and ultimately a diagnosis Daniel was diagnosed in officially in April 2011. Aric officially about a year later, we had put in for the referall since we knew that there was a higher chance he'd have Autism as well since Daniel was diagnosed and since he was male that increased the odds too. What you've said here about the gut and intestinal issues I'd not know what you talked about that so thank you for mentioning that one mom to another and on and on we can all learn from and help each other. I'm not gonna lie here about this is a long and hard journey as I am sure you've gotten to know, I pray when it comes time for him to enter school that you get the right people in place to help educate Wyatt as well as the right therapists and other professionals as well.
ReplyDeleteWe are facebook friends so anytime you want to ask questions, vent or need help or information I will be glad to help, I also am in a group called Autisic Kidz Rock I can send you an invite if you'd like its a great group of moms and dad's with children on various places on the spectrum as well as various ages and stages of development. I am also on Twitter if you like you can follow me it's @YesIHave4Kids . We are also alum of the same high school :) I'll here if you need me, just email, facebook or tweet me anytime.
Thank you so much for your willingness to share and talk about Autism there are so many parents who can't or won't.
Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteI am a new mom to a 6 1/2 month old little guy and can only imagine how you're feeling and what you're going through. You're so brave for sharing your journey - I am confident that God will provide what you need, be it clarity and direction, the right people, patience, etc.
Also, had to say that your little Wyatt is SUCH a cutie - oh my gosh those pics of him before his appointments - what a handsome guy with some great style!! :)
Sending love your way,
Ashley
Stephanie, this is such a wonderfly honest account of the struggles that so many go through. Would you mind if I shared this with some families that I work with? Its so helpful for others to see how familiestay strong through such a difficult time. Wyatt is one lucky boy to have you and chad advocating for him! Thank you for sharing this journey!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the uplifting and encouraging words of praise, prayer and advice. I really want to be honest with everyone, I just hope I sound grateful, loving and appreciative-as we know there are parents and people struggling with so many other problems , so thank you for listening and following! Sarah I do not mind at all if you share! I would greatly appreciate it!
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